wannabe is that this real family’s tragedy is so ineptly conveyed that it becomes laughable. When his 15-year-old brother, Luke, is killed in a car accident, Wake Forest football player Jon Abbate (Ryan Merriman), wearing Luke’s number, leads his team to their most successful season ever. Shot through an HD haze, The 5th Quarter gets everything wrong. A terrible script and poor acting (especially from so-called pros like Aidan Quinn and Andie MacDowell) are overseen by cut-rate direction from writer-producer-director Rick Bieber. Big emotions are needed but cannot be given by mediocre cast and schmaltzy direction. A "College Gameday" package turned awful, inspirational, faith-film, The 5th Quarter is the sort of movie you should be able to watch for free in a church fellowship hall, not pay full price to see in a theater. THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU (PG-13) The trailers do nothing for the cut of this latest Philip K. Dick adaptation. Matt Damon and Emily Blunt play star-crossed lovers, David and Elise, being kept apart by the Adjustment Bureau, who resemble a team of Mad Men in suits and hats (one is even played by “Mad Men”’s silver-haired, silver-tongued John Slattery). These angels as pencil pushers and bureaucrats make sure The Plan, as envisioned by The Chairman (one of many names for the man upstairs), is adhered to. The love affair between David and Elise is not part of the plan, and the Bureau will stop at nothing, even sending in their heavy hitter (Terence Stamp), to ensure the couple does not end up together. Writer-director George Nolfi meshes romance and sci-fi with more coolly intricate success than you would suspect. Damon and Blunt generate surprisingly easy chemistry, and the men in hats idea works well thanks to Slattery, Stamp and The Hurt Locker ’s undervalued Anthony Mackie. A new score from Thomas Newman and gorgeous urban cinematography from Oscar winner John Toll merely ice this romantic cake. The Adjustment Bureau is one of the better films of young 2011. ARTHUR (PG-13) My fondness for Russell Brand confuses me as to whether or not this comedy remake need exist. Brand steps into Dudley Moore’s tux as an apparently not-so-drunken (judging from the trailers) playboy who could lose his inheritance if he doesn’t marry the woman his mummy wants him to. Jennifer Garner takes over for Liza Minnelli, and most significantly, Helen Mirren replaces John Gielgud as Arthur Bach’s stalwart butler becomes a nanny. With Greta Gerwig, Nick Nolte and the usually hilarious Luis Guzman. BEASTLY (PG-13) A literal modern day fairy tale, Beastly stars I Am Number Four ’s Alex Pettyfer (how did this guy escape The CW for the big screen?) as vain, misunderstood, rich boy, Kyle. When Kyle runs afoul of a witch (Mary-Kate Olsen) at his ridiculously posh private high school, she turns him into a hideously scarred and tattooed “monster” with a year to find someone who’ll love him. Of course, he chooses scholarship girl with a drug addict dad, Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens). The unforgivably unlikely setup for this limp take on Beauty and the Beast requires Lindy to be sequestered in Kyle’s hideaway due to a threat against her life. Beastly is all pretty much bland teen romance and drama, from which Neil Patrick Harris occasionally rescues us, that would have made a smashing CW TV movie. My favorite scene comes at the conclusion when Hudgens has to make the critical decision about how to play a supposedly deep teenage girl who has just won the romantic lottery; the monster she fell in love with is really the prettiest, richest boy at school. Her acting skills don’t do much to save Lindy’s too-easily-earned rep for substance over style. BHUTTO (NR) This Sundance Grand Jury Prize nominee for Best Documentary recounts the life and political career of still recently assassinated Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. This polarizing figure in the Muslim world was expected to dominate Pakistani politics before her shocking 2007 murder at the alleged hands of Al-Qaeda. Filmmakers David Baughman and Johnny O’Hara’s first feature was not only an official selection of Sundance but also of HOTDOCS and the Sonoma International Film Festival. BIUTIFUL (R) Critical darling Alejandro González Iñárritu ( Amores Perros , 21 Grams , Babel ) returns with what sounds like a Spanish-language version of Clint Eastwood’s Hereafter (not a compliment). In Barcelona, Uxbal (Javier Bardem, who won Best Actor at Cannes) struggles to be a good husband and father, while using his ability to speak to the deceased to eke out a living. Critical reaction has been mixed, with big names like Sean Penn, Werner Herzog, Guillermo del Toro and Julian Schnabel coming to Iñárritu’s defense. Nominated for the Golden Globe for Best Foreign Language Film.
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