Sex is like a drug. We're all addicted and willing to risk everything to get it.
When there is no time for a serious relationship, the ever-tempting friends-with-benefits relationship can score the next fix.
If done correctly, friends-with-benefits is a compromise between busy schedules and sexual needs. Students can satisfy sexual interests and maintain the freedom of single life.
According to Jay Cutspec, the director of student Health and Counseling, UNC Asheville students often stop by the counseling center to discuss casual relationships.
"Friends-with-benefits has probably been around since humans have been around, we've just put a label to it," Cutspec said. "It is something that we see a lot of students for. They want to come in to sort through those relationships and are seeking guidance."
Traditional serious relationships are time consuming, and college students' schedules are crammed without stuffing in dates and time to meet a partner's parents.
Sarah Reece, 20, recently broke up with her boyfriend of a two-year, long-distance relationship, and said the relationship distracted from the fun of college life.
"I think (long-distance relationships) can limit your college experience," the philosophy and art student said. "It can limit going out, your social interactions and you feel like you're constantly reporting back to somebody else. There are little things that happen just in the day-to-day that they can't experience, so how do you bridge the gap?"
Since ending the relationship, Reece said she enjoys college more.
"When (my ex-boyfriend) and I went to school my freshman year, we were really close and I had no college experience," said the Winston-Salem native. "I was following people around while texting, because I was just trying to keep in contact with my boyfriend. Now that I'm out of one, I have a much happier, fruitful college experience. I feel much more free to do things, but that has to do with being single as well."
Certainly there are students that can balance college life and a serious relationship, but it is not for everyone. Some flourish in relationships, but others may thrive in a more casual relationship.
Friends-with-benefits situations are a hot topic lately. The movie "No Strings Attached" led the box office on Friday with $7.3 million, according to Entertainment Weekly. It beat "The Green Hornet" by $2.2 million.
Also, during the summer, Peter Jonason, a psychologist at the Unversity of West Florida, published a study in the Journal of Sex Research about booty calls in comparison to one-night stands and long-term relationships.
He surveyed 300 college students and found 123 of them had been involved in a booty call relationship within the last year.
He found they had less emotional acts, like hand holding, than long-term relationships, but the sex acts were more varied and adventurous.
From a sexual health perspective, friends-with-benefits is safer than random party hook ups. Resorting to one-night stands for sexual satisfaction increases risk of sexually transmitted infections as the total number of sexual partners starts to climb. Reece said people need honesty to protect each other.
"I would say that if you're going to do friends-with-benefits, it has to be completely open," Reece said. "I think the person you're benefiting with should be telling you what they're doing. You need to know what their sexual practices are, because even condoms aren't 100 percent fullproof."
Friends-with-benefits can be emotionally risky, though. The two engaged in the non-relationship need mature, honest communication to clarify ground rules and intentions.
Cutspec said misunderstandings happen frequently in these types of situations.
"I think the real problem with friends-with-benefits is that, really in any relationship, both people have to be on the same page and have the same expectations for that relationship," Cutspec said. "I think friends-with-benefits is risky because it's unusual for two people in a friends-with-benefits relationship to have the same expectations of the relationship."
Without clear communication, friends-with-benefits leads to confusing grey areas.
"Often times, we see that they both know it's friends-with-benefits, but they have a different understanding where the relationship is or where the relationship is going," Cutspec said. "That in itself makes it a pretty risky relationship."
Reece said she attempted friends-with-benefits relationships in high school, but lacked the maturity needed to make them successful.
"I thought I was doing friends-with benefits-once, but I realized it was just a fake relationship," Reece said. "In my head it was a relationship, but in his head it was not. When I found out that he was having sex with multiple other people, I became upset. Maybe at a college level, it would be better, because we are more open."
Even with the problems she experienced in high school, Reece said she would still consider a casual monogamous sexual relationship.
"Right now, I'm hanging out with my single self," Reece said. "I'm learning to love myself before I have any kind of boyfriend or anything like that, but I would be open to doing friends-with-benefits, because lets face it, we all have needs. I wouldn't mind being in a monogamous sexual encounter."
In college, we may be able to handle the delicate balancing act of a friends-with-benefits relationship.
Just be honest, communicate and enjoy responsibly.
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